Le Weekend Spontané Avec Ma Famille

For the majority of last week, I spent my time in anticipation for the coming weekend as I would be
enjoying some rest and relaxation from all the things going on in my mind. Friday came along and it was all about waiting for my usual 7PM soccer time that I've been part-taking in all summer as recreation. Although it usually kicks my ass, all while having a blast, I was still excited about meeting up with the Fobs (Childhood friends of mine, these guys Ill know for life) later in the evening downtown and going to a hooka bar. Friday night was going to be all the more special as we were to finally meet Gilbert's quasi-new girlfriend. This of course, never actually happened.
   After waiting for everyone to make up their minds, no one came to a conclusion about plans so we ended up staying in. Nevertheless, I was determined to make something special out of this weekend and then EUREKA, an idea came into my mind. An hour later I was on my way to Delaware to visit my sister and her family. After some hesitation due to vehicular problems and other potential plans with friends, I decided it would be worth the risk considering I don't get the chance to visit very often. One of my goals this summer, none of which I have successfully accomplished, was to be nicer not just to people around me, but especially to those people I hold true and dear to my heart. I figured that visiting Jaz and her family would be a step closer to achieving this.
   Unfortunately, it's sad to admit that visiting my sister can always be quite a toss-up because her and my brother-in-law, Luis, have an extremely destructive relationship as they are continually fighting and arguing about the most minuscule things ever. Our families don't particularly see eye-to-eye all of the time, but as the years have past they've learned to reach a common ground of civility, even if it's constantly in hazards. Luis and I have an interesting dynamic however, because even through all of the shit that him and Jaz have put each other through, somehow we've still managed to stay friends, and in a weird way, he's almost actually like a brother to me. Upon my arrival around 2AM, Jaz and my two nephews were already in bed. Luis and I took the opportune peace and quiet to pop a $10 bottle of wine and some some cigars over conversation. These times with him are always appreciated because as much of a control freak as he is, he usually has some pretty good insight  on the practicality behind adult matters such as finances, cars, careers, and...well, that's about it.
   Many of my friends and family often say I've become some kind of 'man-whore' through all of my interactions with different women, but I find it necessary to explain that even if this were true, in my eyes at least, part of the blame would belong to Luis. During my freshman year of college, I went through what at the time seemed like the most cataclysmic breakup with my girlfriend of over 2 years, he suggested that I might as well get it over with as there were better things awaiting me my next 4 years of college. Although that's only the nutshell version of his advice, it somehow resonated with me at the time, and he was right, there was no way in hell I wasn't going to end up hooking up with so many women during college.  I'm still not sure if his advice, in the matters of everything women, is actually good or bad.
    Luis and I spent the majority of the next day doing some male bonding as he taught and guided me on doing some major repairs on my chariot, also known as my piece of shit car. Having grown up with 3 women for the entirety of my life, performing manly and grueling tasks such as these have never been my forté. When I was 14 years old, I learned how to tie a tie from reading step-by-step instructions from a book.  A year later, after becoming seriously interested in the prospects of girls, I had to ask Jaz how to kiss a girl because I had no idea how to properly do it. For the record, she only explained, haha. Later that year my mom had to give me the infamous 'sex talk' by spontaneously coming to my room and having a show and tell awareness class with me. She came in with a brown bag, and inside the back were condoms, dental dams, and worst of all small packets of KY gel, because as she said....men tend to get curious and like to experiment with their girlfriends. That raised more questions than I ever wanted to have answered.
   After a long day of bro-ing it out with Luis, Jaz decided to replicate my prior night and coerced me into drinking with her and having some cigars, a rare act on her behalf. We set a couple of chairs outside her garage and stared out into her sleeping neighborhood while talking about life unlimited. Although much of my weekend was spent with all of them at once, perhaps the moments that stand out the most were those of conversation with her and Luis. I explained to Jaz my continued desires to just leave everything I know behind, and possibly doing it through the military and heading out to Germany or Italy. However, while I continued to explain my pseudo plan to her, a sudden realization came to me that if I were to do this, I wouldn't really be there to watch my nephews grow up, and that's something I want to be there for.
   Another realization came to me while talking to Jaz, and that is that it's possible that I may still have some residual feelings for Rachel. Rachel is my last girlfriend of about 3 years, our relationship came to an abrupt and emotionally deteriorating end a year after I returned from my deployment in Iraq. The week I began contemplating asking her to marry me while I was gone, I found out through a stranger that she had slept with another man. Clearly this may seem like grounds to end any kind of relationship with her, and it was, but we moved past it, and it all still went to shit. These past two years I've met various other women, some which have been extremely insignificant, and some which definitely had the potential to be meaningful.
   I admitted to Jaz that to this day, there doesn't pass a day I do not think of Rachel. I told Jaz that every now and then I'm tempted to call Rachel with the simple intention of asking how she's doing, but that I never really end up doing it because I feel there is no point. She suggested that perhaps I should just go through with it, I'm pretty sure I won't. I guess I just truly believe that what's done is done, and part of progressing and moving up in life is leaving the past as it is. It's crazy to think that even through all of the fucked up shit Rachel and I went through, aside from the drama during the deployment, I still think of her in only the most endearing ways, even if I remind myself of the not so sweet things too.
   I suppose that in the grand scheme of things, this weekend didn't really clear any of ambiguities that have been going through my mind. However, one thing I am certain of, I am really glad and thankful I decided to visit. Every moment with my nephews was a piece of heaven, they kept reminding me of how simple life can be sometimes and that even with all the turmoil my life brings, I should bring out my inner child and play along with life. This place is truly just a playground and I want to be happy and smile as much as they do. My time with Jaz and Luis was constructive, and it really broke my heart that when I decided to come back tonight, they almost begged me not to leave. As I drove away, Tony (my oldest nephew, 5 years old) ran after my car and yelled out that he loved me and to come back soon. My heart melts just to think about it. However, the most rewarding thing about leaving was watching Jaz and Luis through my rear view mirror as they held each other while they watched me leave. I would like to think that perhaps I left a little bit of happiness in their home, because I've certainly brought much of it back with me.
-WanderingTerp

My nephew Dani, 1 year old.

My 5 year old nephew Tony