Well, long time no see huh? I hope every one of my readers has been great. I will be up front and apologize to many of you for practically neglecting and in a way ignoring your requests to come back to this blog and write again. Admittedly, the past several months have been very much like a roller coaster in regards to many ups and many downs, but now that the dust has settled I feel prepared to get back to what I know, this blog being one of them. In sum, my conscientious objector packet never went through to D.C. and after having found out that my bosses had practically stored it away while lying to me and telling me it was in transit, I decided to take matters into my own hands and pursue a discharge through other means. After many headaches and confrontations, as well as the proverbial slap in the hand, I've finally achieved what I've been trying to do for over a year. The end-state: I'll be home in about 1 month's time and finally getting myself back on my feet and on track once again.
With the exception of my job status and everything in the likes, my life was also turned upside down and back again during these last few months in regards to my relationships; Anna and I inevitably broke up after a very dramatic series of events that took place in our lives back in April and May. While traveling with work for about 3 weeks, I had received a message from her notifying me that she was late and that her doctor had confirmed that she was pregnant. I think it's fair to say that for just about anybody this kind of news would leave a person in a state of shock, and it did for me, but at the same time I knew that I was more than happy and prepared to do what I felt was right, and so I told her I was in for the long haul. I wrote about it in this blog I published on The Vomitorium. After re-reading this blog, it's almost surreal to me that all of it ever even happened. The very unfortunate thing about it all is that it was something we never finished; Anna "lost the baby"(due to nature, not choice...or so I think) a few weeks later, and due to our distance geographically and the distance we created between the two of us after it all happened, our relationship ceased to function positively. I wish I had something more to say about that...but the truth is that I don't. Awkward silence.... :/
Anyways, it has truly been a very troublesome time for me. I think it goes without saying that the aforementioned developments and events took a very serious toll on me on so many levels. I stopped traveling, I stopped blogging, it was difficult for me to even keep in touch with my own friends and family because in a way I didn't really want to be in touch with anyone. I felt as every conversation I had with everyone was always exactly the same, it all became a sour reminder, day in and day out, of the fucked up situation I was in at the moment and the way it felt as if I was stuck in an unconquerable depression. During that time I burned more bridges that I would have probably liked to, of course in reference to Anna, but also some very good friends (i.e. Jackie.) Nevertheless, just as there are high and lows, lefts and rights, blacks and whites, there were also many bright spots in my dark sky. After all of the support and encouragement I received from many of you, and after the recent good news I've received, my batteries are charged all the way up again and am ready for round 2.
Many of the conundrums I'm currently presented with are still the same as before. I plan on coming home for approximately 3-5 months and possibly working some random job here or there to save up some cash before my move to Brasil (that is still my biggest goal.) Given the fact I've only been home for less than 14 days during the almost past 2 years, I feel it to be right to spend a decent amount of time with my family and many of you back home that have loyally kept up with my blog. I really can't thank you enough. I suppose that until I do get back home, I'm going to see about fitting in some mini travels while I'm still here in Europe. I guess I should really make the best of it while it still lasts. In any case, I do have a plethora of other things to fill you all in about what's going on, and I give you my word to do so in the very near future. Thanks again for keeping up with me, and for being there for me, even from afar.
Lots of love,
Jay
With the exception of my job status and everything in the likes, my life was also turned upside down and back again during these last few months in regards to my relationships; Anna and I inevitably broke up after a very dramatic series of events that took place in our lives back in April and May. While traveling with work for about 3 weeks, I had received a message from her notifying me that she was late and that her doctor had confirmed that she was pregnant. I think it's fair to say that for just about anybody this kind of news would leave a person in a state of shock, and it did for me, but at the same time I knew that I was more than happy and prepared to do what I felt was right, and so I told her I was in for the long haul. I wrote about it in this blog I published on The Vomitorium. After re-reading this blog, it's almost surreal to me that all of it ever even happened. The very unfortunate thing about it all is that it was something we never finished; Anna "lost the baby"(due to nature, not choice...or so I think) a few weeks later, and due to our distance geographically and the distance we created between the two of us after it all happened, our relationship ceased to function positively. I wish I had something more to say about that...but the truth is that I don't. Awkward silence.... :/
Anyways, it has truly been a very troublesome time for me. I think it goes without saying that the aforementioned developments and events took a very serious toll on me on so many levels. I stopped traveling, I stopped blogging, it was difficult for me to even keep in touch with my own friends and family because in a way I didn't really want to be in touch with anyone. I felt as every conversation I had with everyone was always exactly the same, it all became a sour reminder, day in and day out, of the fucked up situation I was in at the moment and the way it felt as if I was stuck in an unconquerable depression. During that time I burned more bridges that I would have probably liked to, of course in reference to Anna, but also some very good friends (i.e. Jackie.) Nevertheless, just as there are high and lows, lefts and rights, blacks and whites, there were also many bright spots in my dark sky. After all of the support and encouragement I received from many of you, and after the recent good news I've received, my batteries are charged all the way up again and am ready for round 2.
Many of the conundrums I'm currently presented with are still the same as before. I plan on coming home for approximately 3-5 months and possibly working some random job here or there to save up some cash before my move to Brasil (that is still my biggest goal.) Given the fact I've only been home for less than 14 days during the almost past 2 years, I feel it to be right to spend a decent amount of time with my family and many of you back home that have loyally kept up with my blog. I really can't thank you enough. I suppose that until I do get back home, I'm going to see about fitting in some mini travels while I'm still here in Europe. I guess I should really make the best of it while it still lasts. In any case, I do have a plethora of other things to fill you all in about what's going on, and I give you my word to do so in the very near future. Thanks again for keeping up with me, and for being there for me, even from afar.
Lots of love,
Jay
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