There is an absurd amount of things that I would like to say and emotions I have been feeling the need to convey. I owe many of you an apology for not blogging much throughout the course of the year; as you all know much of my motivation for writing and publishing on this blog are my travels, and my travels are something that I have been trying to cut back on, as a result I have been writing less. It seems as though a lot of the traveling I've diminished in my life has been replaced by other occurrences and personal developments that I both expected, and didn't. Unfortunately, many of these developments haven't necessarily been on the positive side of the spectrum, and I attribute this as the reason for my lack of blogging. When I commenced this blog, I told myself that I wanted to keep it free of drama and negativity, just the same way that I've been to live my life for the last year and a half, and so that's why I've refrained from writing lately.
2012 has proved to be somewhat of a bad apple in the bushel of recent times. From being treated in a condescending manner at work, to almost a whole month of lost communication with my family, the month of January sure wasn't the amazing start to the year that I envisioned. To be fair, much of the negativity was almost expected and self-inflicted (work-wise) after I submitted my conscientious objector application, and many of those problems I didn't really know how to handle on my own...so I tried to handle it alone, and I kind of blocked people out of my life because of that. Consequently, I ended up hurting my mother's and sister's feelings for being out of touch, more-so than usual, but thankfully I was able to rectify that situation. In regards to my application, I would like to extend a public and very necessary appreciation to those of you that wrote letters of references for me; if I asked you for the favor it was because I knew I could depend on you to not only stretch out a helping hand, but to also solidify and confirm my beliefs...and you didn't let me down :) I've already submitted your letters, written a personal sworn statement that was 6 pages in length, and met with a chaplain (one of the requirements) in order for him to dissect my beliefs and write a report on the depth and sincerity of them. Next week I am scheduled to meet with a mental health professional (a shrink to be exact) so that they can make sure I'm not crazy, apparently. Last step after that, and before my application goes up to Headquarters of the Department of the Army is to have a hearing, but I don't know when during the year that will take place.
In light of the unforeseen difficulties, I must admit that there have also been many positive developments in my life as well. In January I took a very spontaneous trip to Amsterdam, The Netherlands with a few friends, and if you've heard anything about Amsterdam that instantly plugs certain thoughts into your head, let me tell you first hand, IT IS ALL MOTHERFUCKING TRUE! I'll leave it at that ;) Things with Anna have been a pleasant surprise for the most part, although as it progresses, in a way it reminds me why it is that I've been single for the past 3 years. Nevertheless, it's a testament to myself that there are many things I need to keep working on myself on an interpersonal level, but I'm trying. I've been so concerned with nothing else but myself these past few years that caring for someone else is a very foreign feeling now. To be honest, it's somewhat of a mind-boggling situation because I do expect to leave Germany sometime in the next year, approximately, and so as a result it adds even more uncertainties into my life. Nevertheless, I'm thoroughly enjoying what it is, and like everything thing else I do, I'm just kind of taking it day by day. I figure that's all that I can do because they say tomorrow is never promised, and instead of concerning myself with whatever may or may not come my way, I want to focus on living today to the fullest.
Yesterday I purchased my flight to Manchester, England to visit Jackie, the same friend I met up with in Dublin, Ireland last may. I briefly wrote about it here. Jackie is promised to be married in June, and so this will be my last opportunity to visit her before we both meet again back home in the US for the ceremony. I originally intended to attend my first English Premier League football match while in Manchesta', but my plans have changed and can now dedicate the entirety of my trip to hanging out with Jackie and Tony :) I am also exploring the possibility of bringing Anna along with me to meet Jackie...we'll see how it goes. This coming weekend presents me with various options as I'm off from work Friday to Monday. A few friends and I are trying to assemble a snowboarding excursion to the Bavarian Alps, but if that falls through we have PLENTY of options. I guess in a small way I haven't completely obliterated traveling out of my life...I suppose I just can't help it. How do you stop doing something that you're passionate about right? Anyways...
The last little bit of info I would like to share with you all is about an amazing idea my friend Chetan and a few acquaintances from college came up with. It's called The Vomitorium, and you should DEFINITELY click here and check it out. It's a brand new blog in which a few of us will contribute to periodically in order to share whatever intellectual and meaningful things we have brewing in our young minds, or perhaps just sharing anything of value to the greater masses. I'm currently working on my second post, so aside from keeping up-to-date with this blog, if you're ever bored feel free to check it out. You'll be pleasantly surprised ;) As always, thank you everyone for reading and I look forward to sharing more of my life with you all.
Love always,
Jay
2012 has proved to be somewhat of a bad apple in the bushel of recent times. From being treated in a condescending manner at work, to almost a whole month of lost communication with my family, the month of January sure wasn't the amazing start to the year that I envisioned. To be fair, much of the negativity was almost expected and self-inflicted (work-wise) after I submitted my conscientious objector application, and many of those problems I didn't really know how to handle on my own...so I tried to handle it alone, and I kind of blocked people out of my life because of that. Consequently, I ended up hurting my mother's and sister's feelings for being out of touch, more-so than usual, but thankfully I was able to rectify that situation. In regards to my application, I would like to extend a public and very necessary appreciation to those of you that wrote letters of references for me; if I asked you for the favor it was because I knew I could depend on you to not only stretch out a helping hand, but to also solidify and confirm my beliefs...and you didn't let me down :) I've already submitted your letters, written a personal sworn statement that was 6 pages in length, and met with a chaplain (one of the requirements) in order for him to dissect my beliefs and write a report on the depth and sincerity of them. Next week I am scheduled to meet with a mental health professional (a shrink to be exact) so that they can make sure I'm not crazy, apparently. Last step after that, and before my application goes up to Headquarters of the Department of the Army is to have a hearing, but I don't know when during the year that will take place.
In light of the unforeseen difficulties, I must admit that there have also been many positive developments in my life as well. In January I took a very spontaneous trip to Amsterdam, The Netherlands with a few friends, and if you've heard anything about Amsterdam that instantly plugs certain thoughts into your head, let me tell you first hand, IT IS ALL MOTHERFUCKING TRUE! I'll leave it at that ;) Things with Anna have been a pleasant surprise for the most part, although as it progresses, in a way it reminds me why it is that I've been single for the past 3 years. Nevertheless, it's a testament to myself that there are many things I need to keep working on myself on an interpersonal level, but I'm trying. I've been so concerned with nothing else but myself these past few years that caring for someone else is a very foreign feeling now. To be honest, it's somewhat of a mind-boggling situation because I do expect to leave Germany sometime in the next year, approximately, and so as a result it adds even more uncertainties into my life. Nevertheless, I'm thoroughly enjoying what it is, and like everything thing else I do, I'm just kind of taking it day by day. I figure that's all that I can do because they say tomorrow is never promised, and instead of concerning myself with whatever may or may not come my way, I want to focus on living today to the fullest.
Yesterday I purchased my flight to Manchester, England to visit Jackie, the same friend I met up with in Dublin, Ireland last may. I briefly wrote about it here. Jackie is promised to be married in June, and so this will be my last opportunity to visit her before we both meet again back home in the US for the ceremony. I originally intended to attend my first English Premier League football match while in Manchesta', but my plans have changed and can now dedicate the entirety of my trip to hanging out with Jackie and Tony :) I am also exploring the possibility of bringing Anna along with me to meet Jackie...we'll see how it goes. This coming weekend presents me with various options as I'm off from work Friday to Monday. A few friends and I are trying to assemble a snowboarding excursion to the Bavarian Alps, but if that falls through we have PLENTY of options. I guess in a small way I haven't completely obliterated traveling out of my life...I suppose I just can't help it. How do you stop doing something that you're passionate about right? Anyways...
The last little bit of info I would like to share with you all is about an amazing idea my friend Chetan and a few acquaintances from college came up with. It's called The Vomitorium, and you should DEFINITELY click here and check it out. It's a brand new blog in which a few of us will contribute to periodically in order to share whatever intellectual and meaningful things we have brewing in our young minds, or perhaps just sharing anything of value to the greater masses. I'm currently working on my second post, so aside from keeping up-to-date with this blog, if you're ever bored feel free to check it out. You'll be pleasantly surprised ;) As always, thank you everyone for reading and I look forward to sharing more of my life with you all.
Love always,
Jay
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