Progressions and saying goodbye for good.

5 days away from going home, and in retrospect this small hiatus in my every day rhythms hasn't been entirely bad. I don't want to sound snobby in anyway, but being almost a year separated from school I am finally starting to understand what my professors kept eluding to when they told us we would think like sociologists once in the 'real' world. When people here ask me about myself, or my Army self...I often tell them that I am the least Army-Army person they'll ever meet. If that makes any sense to you. Either way, the more I say it, the more I believe it. The past few days I've been walking around this place, inwardly observing all the people walking around and thinking/wondering why it is that they behave the way they do, or why it is that they think the way they do. Is that a product of me feeling so disconnected from the way the Army has regulated its soldier to look/behave, or is it a product of me refusing to immerse into an institution I increasingly continue to disagree with?

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I've been meeting several people of intrigue and introspective minds. These are individuals who I feel I am able to connect with because of their ability to view the world around them in a prospective outside of their own. About a week ago I had about an hour and a half long conversation with a guy that not only is linguistically proficient, but also has solid knowledge of world views, current events, our involvement in them, and his own opinion about it. Since, we've discussed many other topics from my continued exploration of intuition, to Neuro Linguistic Programming (something I've just recently been introduced to), the Army as an institution...and yes, women. Consequently, I am beginning to view my world in a new light, communicating with the people I work with in a new approach, and becoming more aware of my inner thought processes and feelings.

I've made a list of residual feelings I've been carrying from my past, and have decided to address them by level of importance. One of the several things I've already made a point of addressing was the constant thought of getting in touch with Rachel. You may recall the last time I wrote about it in THIS post. These days I realize that I should have a different approach with things that haunt me from my past. In regards to her, I felt as though I needed to let a few skeletons out from closet for good, gain some closure, and make peace with it and let it be gone forever. I emailed her, and ever since I feel at peace with myself...almost as if I let deadweight I was carrying, float off into the sea. I hope this feeling stays. Through getting things straight from my past, I believe I will be in better touch with where I want to go in the future. The improvements never stop...they shouldn't stop, and am doing my best to keep it up.